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i just have nothing to do now.

so i decided to blog after like, 3months?

well, honestly, things haven't been going that well since then.

its not bad, but its not good either.

be it any aspect of my life.

it sucks.

i enlisted the day after my previous post. and yes, i'm a commando, the red berets (:

although the training wasn't as tough as i expected, but there were many times that it became rather unbearable for me. especially when time is wasted. which happens ALOT. i'm glad i was in platoon 2 det 4, they were a great bunch of guys, friends, and brothers. UDC was memorable, Dallas, Timbre and especially Field Camp hahaha which we got confined after that. now, i'm already a private, in the medic vocation, at nee soon camp. to be honest, i chickened out of leaders. i don't know why, but i lacked the motivation, i was tired. many people now ask me why i didn't go leaders, bla bla bla. not only my army friends, but even my jc friends, secondary sch friends. and now i'm kinda regretting it. because i will be remaining as a corporal at the end of my service. fml.

there was this thing called love, then i lost track. for a moment i thought i found it again, but only to realise i'm still losing sight of it. it has been...1 year and 11months already. but...whatever...

and if things can't get worse. my results. not going to mention it here. its not good, but its not that bad. which means i'm average. i applied to all 3, and 1 of them have rejected me so far. urgh. and now looking back, if it wasn't for the transition in j1, doesn't it mean that I can even forget about applying, and perhaps I would be back in school, and not in army!? thinking back really angers me alot. this teacher of the cca of mine was actually going to see our grades slip lower and lower and lower and pay lip service everytime. my batch wasn't the first batch. which proves my earlier sentence. and there was the thing about a testimonial for each of us. WHERE?

lastly, i just have this feeling that my intelligence is deteriorating. ergh. and i feel inferior in camp whenever my friends are talking about their interviews, tea sessions, scholarships. dang, i hate my life.

love,

[yisong]